"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young."
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50 Shades of Grey (via kaley)
(via xmusicloverr)
“beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan
but a very cute trashcan
make all the other trashcan go BANGBANGCRASH
(via xmusicloverr)
Google Earth Engine is a joint project between Google and NASA that allows anyone access to a 30 year time-lapse of the surface of the earth. I made a video about how amazing, terrifying, and important it is.
(via rtlstuff)
Best thing ever.
It’s like watching the Matrix, but with kittens.
The black-white one looks exactly like my Dusty. :)
(Source: eduardolion, via jamiethephoenix)
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
(via jings-o-malley)
which american president was least guilty
lincoln
he was in a cent
I told this joke at Mouth Rushmore and the park ranger hit me
(via seafoampterodactyl)
